Bitter Sweet Moments of 2021

And just like that the year comes to an end. The past 25 years brought different experiences in my life but particularly this year has been so different for many reasons. I got to experience the real things in life for the first time such as working, living on my own, meeting a diverse people. 

I started working for the first time this year and I must admit it was not easy. It challenged me with new task everyday. It made me cry with disappointment, fulfillment and gratitude. Very often it made me question my decision of joining the civil service but at the end of the day it always made me happy and contended when my service brought a smile on the other person's face. Despite the ups and downs of my work, one thing is sure that is I really want to make a difference in a person and  community though it might be small and not magnifiable in media. I want to do things my way so that my future me can be proud of the work I am doing today.

For the first time, I stayed on my own where I had to do everything on my own. There was no longer the mother to help you out, cook for you or be by your side when you were ill. Through this course of living alone I learnt so many things starting from basic household chores, taking care of myself, managing work and personal time and importantly money. I have realized a shitty fact, that I was no longer able to afford my own lifestyle with my pay. The lifestyle which I got so used to it and the lifestyle which was afforded by my parents till now. I always thought that things were easy until I had to do all those on my own. 
I met a lot of people both professionally and personally and each of them gave me something different to learn from. Never have I ever known that humans could be that complicated. Every person I met always amused me in various ways. I am just grateful to have met all these people this year. 

And at the last day of 2021, I am just here stuck in snow at Lawala, bidding farewell to a great year. 

Self-growth

 

Hiking has become a trend these days and I am also one of those trying to keep up with the trend. More importantly, I hike because the destination is very clear yet simple. There are no external factors changing the path to the hiking destination. All we need is a destination and the drive to reach the destination. At times little motivation helps when we are on the verge of giving up. So, if the goals in our life is also as clear and specific as the hiking destination, I think we will be little lost more focused. I know I know you all must be thinking that I am crazy if you have read my previous blog for there, I wrote not setting goals and going with the flow. However, few people (specifically mentioning Ma’am Charming Socho) changed my perspective on this and I felt that goals in life does not really have to be ambitious and big if it is what you want to. Even if we have those small goals for short or long term, I think it will keep us going especially when we are at our lowest point.  

 Way towards Lungchu tse

                                             

Happily lost in life 😅

I am often asked " What's your ultimate goal in life?" to which I have no concrete answer of course. I believe in going with the flow, the philosophy of Taoism, if I am not mistaken. Do we really need a ultimate goal in life if you are living your present to the best??? We say nothing is uncertain but why do we have to set a goal for future if we aren't even sure that we will reach that time to rejoice that future moment. 

In the same line, I strongly believe that there is a timing for everything in life and things will happen accordingly. If things are meant to be, it will happen with time even if you felt that it would be impossible at one point of time and wasn't pre-planned. So can I not be belittled even if I am bit lost and have no ultimate goal in life for I know for certain that I am happily making meaning of the life, the universe is offering me.

Homeland

The place which holds my roots and gave identity to me, my Homeland. The place where my existence began yet I have always stayed away from here. At first it was for my education that I had to go away but then when years separated me from my home town I slowly lost my attachment and connection with my homeland. I have stayed in so many places around Bhutan but I never got to stay enough in my village. In fact, I just have a vivid memory of my home town and my childhood days. Despite the years of being away a part of my heart always belonged here and yearned to have beautiful memories of my homeland. Today, I got to do all of it, I am back to my hometown and I have created moments to share of my homeland: BUMTHANG. 

Me in Mathra at Bumthang

Fantasy

If today is all you have, what would you do?

Me Today

                                                                   

                                                    

In the midst of living our lives for the future we forget to live in the moment. We are always on a run working, planning and saving for future, but is this why we got this life for. Well, I believe in today and making the best out of the present. I believe in calling my loved ones at the moment and not pushing it to tomorrow and I believe in doing the things that makes me happy and most importantly living the life the way I want it. At the same time, I also understand that we are social animals and we have to coexist and certain things we do are influenced by the society and the people around you, but how long should we go on shaping ourselves by the talks of the society just to be accepted in the society as they want. So, if today was all I have I would like to live openly, walk freely, think loudly, not missing the past and not worrying about tomorrow. I would like to live the today to the fullest being myself. 

My Love for GREEN TEA

Nothing beats the taste of a green tea and no drinks in this world is as refreshing as a green tea. My love for the green tea started since 2015, at first, I didn’t like the taste much as it was bitter but then gradually my taste bud became acquainted with it and without even realizing I kind of became addicted to it. To me I always need a cup of green tea to complete the meal even after a luxurious meal at star hotels. No matter how scrumptious or heavenly the food and drinks are, I find it incomplete without a cup of green tea at the end. Even when I am having a heavy work load and runs out of idea a cup of green tea break lifts off my stress almost completely. With my growing love for green tea, I fear of its effect on my already low blood pressure and staining my already ugly teeth but there is not much I can do because I really cannot live without it. However, I am slowly reducing the amount I drink every day and I feel that's the right thing to do even if my love for green tea is infinite. 

P.s: To all those who are having a rough day I will recommend a cup of warm green tea.

Finding myself

 

Even if it’s just for a day I want to fit in the society, I want to fit in as myself and not someone else. The thing about humans is that we have emotions which are too intensive and we have the least control over it. We don’t feel certain emotions to certain things because we are ordered to do it, it is just spontaneous and so natural and these emotions lead you to the best feeling ever to the worst feeling ever. Will I  ever be able to understand my emotions and understand myself better. If that ever happens one day, I want to be less harsh on myself.

Bhutan Homestay Network

As a Bhutanese we are all connected with each other by culture, religion and most importantly by heart, that’s why things in the society functions like a network. Too cliché right, sorry about that but on a serious note I would like to talk about the real network, BHUTAN HOMESTAY NETWORK (BHN). As a pilot project this network will connect the homestays in 4 Dzongkhags (Haa, Wangdue, Bumthang and Chukhha) so that the homestays, HRAB, GAB and ABTO and the guests comes under the radar of BHN. What’s different here is that BHN will function as a community-based organization run by entrepreneurs and it will serve as a common platform for the homestays to develop. It will not only help in guest distribution but also cater to the real needs of the homestays such as capacity building (culinary, house keeping and communication in English and other foreign languages). When such projects are started sustainability is a striking question so we propose to deduct certain fee from each guest distributed to the homestays so that the BHN will function efficiently and provide end to end services.

That’s the idea but there are still lots to do before it is fully implemented and we hope to connect all the homestays in Bhutan and link with Regional and International platforms for better promotion.

 Pema Dema Homestay in Haa        

                                        

                                           

If I were a flower

 If I were a flower

Will I be admired more,

Or will I be plucked too often.

If I were a flower

Will I be watered enough,

Or will I be left drying in a corner.

If I were a flower

Will I be accepted as who I am,

Or will I be compared to other flowers.

If I were  a flower

Will I be able to outshine my flaws

Or will I still have the thorns.....

Hiking in heels

It is hard to get us excited by doing normal things but what if you do the same normal thing in a different way like hiking in heels. I know this sounds crazy and stupid but the adventure you get from it is on a whole different level.

Yesterday, I had to accompany my Dasho and the team to Goga under Nisho Gewog for handing taking of Goga to Gangab irrigation channel. The Chiwog had been facing water shortage so left lots of lands fallow. Upon completion of this irrigation channel the people were overjoyed with happiness in fact two households have already started paddy cultivation. 

Amidst the happiness of the people I also had a wonderful hike to the water source despite the marshy trail and rain. It was refreshing to be into the woods and connect with nature. My heels had been the highlight of the hike, so, you all should try as well. I promise the satisfaction and the thrill you get is really worth trying. ;)

How was your weekend?

Busy is the excuse given for not texting your best friend or not calling your family, but are we really that busy. Are we extremely busy to forget self-time? Well, I feel no matter how busy we are we should prioritize things in life and once in a while take a break from the normal schedule and relax and give time for yourself and your loved ones.  A weekend getaway with your loved ones is the best break to rejuvenate your energy. I assure you the energy you get from a break is so different. Go for hikes, picnics, rides, camping and get positively wasted but when the week starts put all the energy you got from the mountains, rivers and your loved ones into work. That's the ideal life style I seek.  

A lunch out with my family (My weekend)

Just another day

Somedays we are so busy while some days we go without any work. Lately, I have become the later one not because I am lazy but I really don't know what to do. I have mountains and oceans of ideas but what use of it if you cannot put them into work. No matter how great your ideas are if it does not impress your boss, it is just one of those lame thought that passes by. I do not fail to impress the boss but I fail to understand the system. While I wait to understand the system I refresh my mail inbox 100 times a day. I fear that I am slowly losing my motivation and energy. 

  A picture to show how clueless I am lately.

                         

Into the adulthood

With flying colors I completed my studies

Had rushing hopes and aspirations,

Only to know that none of it mattered.

Always feared reality,

Didn't realize it would be this TOUGH

Oh how I wish I can turn back time 

Go back to the younger days,

And experience the youthful days once again.

A picture taken in 2004 (Thimphu)

Full moon night

Chasing the moon tonight

Like never before

No special reasons,

Yet the moon tonight

Looks brighter than usual

So here I am

Admiring the moon

From a far.

                                                        

Road that’s taken

Do all of us plan the journey of our lives? Well, in my case I was always the kind of ‘go with the flow’ person and now I have reached the road towards my career. Never once I thought I would be a civil servant yet here I am serving as an Asst. Economic Development Officer. Being new to the place and work I feel completely lost and out of place so everyday becomes as challenging as it can be. Having no seniors to guide, I remain confused for half and time and the rest I run around just to get a single service delivered. I have been running late in delivering the service for which I always feel guilty. Seniors say it takes time to pick up things but I am not sure when that time will come. At times, I wonder if the road I took is even right.